Teaser Tuesday: Topless Prophet and The Sweetness at the Bottom of the Pie

This meme hosted by Should Be Reading, so stop by and check out her blog!

To participate:

• Grab your current read
• Open to a random page
• Share two (2) "teaser" sentences from somewhere on that page
• BE CAREFUL NOT TO INCLUDE SPOILERS! (make sure that what you share doesn’t give too much away! You don’t want to ruin the book for others!)
• Share the title & author, too, so that other TT participants can add the book to their TBR Lists if they like your teasers

But of course, I do things a little differently. Because I don't like giving you something random, but want instead something to actually tease you, I am going to give you a teaser from a book I have just read (with the full review to follow later in the week). So let's begin, shall we?

 

The Topless Prophet: The True Story of America's Most Successful Gentleman's Club Entrepreneur

by Alan Markovitz

"How do you do, Mr Markovitz," the desk sergeant intoned.  "Can I help you?"

"Yeah, I hope so," I replied..."I just heard on the television two guys were arrested today by the FBI for conspiracy to have me killed!"

"Ah, yes," the officer replied,"I believe we have heard something about that.  Have a seat and someone will be with you shortly."

 

The Sweetness at the Bottom of the Pie (The BuckShaw Chronicles, #1)

by Alan Bradley  

The body in the cucumbers sucked in a shuddering breadth...then, bubbling at the nose, exhaled it in a single word, slowly and a little sadly, directly into my face.

"Vale," it said....

I wish I could say my heart was stricken, but it wasn't.  I wish I could say my instinct was to run away, but that would not be true.  Instead, I watched in awe, savoring every detail: the fluttering fingers, the almost imperceptible bronze metallic cloudiness that appeared on the skin, as if, before my very eyes, it were being breathed upon by death.

And then the utter stillness.

I wish I could say I was afraid, but I wasn't.  Quite the contrary.  This was by far the most interesting thing that had ever happened to me in my entire life. 

Intriguing this week, no?