Dear Jane Austen,
Thanks a lot. You have set the bar impossibly high for us 21st century guys. My wife keeps gushing about, “Oh, Captain Wentworth’s letter. It’s so romantic. Why don’t you write me a letter like that?” She’s even writing him a love letter! How is a regular guy supposed to compete? She tells me, “You’re un Cubano. You guys have romantic souls. You all say so. Just follow Wentworth’s template.” Yeah, right. You’re a woman! You know what women want to hear! I think I do pretty well, but, “You pierce my soul?” C’mon! I don’t stand a chance. So thanks for everything, Jane. My wife will always be disappointed that she didn’t get that grand, romantic letter from me and it’s all your fault.
Sincerely,
A disgruntled husband
*Want to have your Dear Jane letter featured? Email it to me at mbradenwf@gmail.com and I'll pencil you in to my dance card!
Lol. Sadly, this is probably true. But it's still hilarious! :)
ReplyDeletehaha, love this! Especially because it is 100% true :)
ReplyDeleteNicely put! I'm sorry if Jane has set our standards to unrealistic heights.
ReplyDeleteLol! How hilarious but true!
ReplyDeleteOh my word! How delicious and creative! I love this.
ReplyDeleteEvery word of it true! Poor guy LOL
ReplyDeletePoor disgruntled husband.
ReplyDeleteI used to love writing letters and always wanted a correspondent who crafted elegant prose. It didn't even need to be a love letter.
ReplyDeleteEmail has just about killed off any chance of that happening.