September Zombies Z v. U: TEAM UNICORN!! (+ GIVEAWAY!)

You may have heard of the book.  You may have had hours-long discussions with your "friends" (<-- voices in your head) about it.  You may not have a clue what I'm talking about.  But I'm here to tell you why, in the epic battle that is to come, you should side with UNICORNS over zombies:

Speed and Mobility:
Zombies: Slow shambling, generally.
Unicorns: ranges from gently paced to lightning fast, occasional flying.

Point: Unicorns

Feeding of:
Zombies: difficult to find reliable source of fresh human flesh.
Unicorns: difficult to find reliable source of rainbows.

Point: Neither

Noise Level:
Zombies: near constant moaning, calls for braaaains!
Unicorns: occasional whinnies, chime-like tinkling when the wind blows around the horn.

Point: Unicorns

Ethics:
Zombies: none.
Unicorns: strict sense of rightness, good and evil; not above killing the impure and evil-minded.

Point: dubious point to Unicorns

Appearance:
Zombies: Well...
Unicorns: Glorious.  Who's a pretty unicorn?  Who'saprettyunicorn?  You are, yes you are!

Point: Unicorns

Smells like:
Zombies: putrefaction
Unicorns: horses and cupcakes

Point: Unicorns

Tastes like: 
Zombies: putrefaction 
Unicorns: horses and cupcakes

Point: Unicorns

Modus Operandi:
Zombies: rending flesh by whatever means necessary, general gnawing and chewing
Unicorns: impalement.

Point: Both 

Usefulness:
Zombie: if controlled, can be useful as exacter of revenge.  As a means of locomotion: ineffective; Riders of zombies, may end up gnawed on and covered in gore (theirs and its)
Unicorns: Generally just for looks, though will protect the pure of heart and body.  As a means of locomotion: effective, if willing.  Riders may end up smelling of horse and covered in sparkles.

Point: Both, different skill sets

Ability to inflict terror:
Zombies: Total
Unicorns: Minimal; the horn, for all of it's pointy, just doesn't seem to bother people.  Until they're on the end of it.

Point: Zombies

Grand Tally: Unicorns: 8,    Zombies: 3

Doesn't that say it all?  No?  Unicorns are too cute and cuddly to take seriously, you say?  Hello?  They have a huge frakking horn on their heads.  Unicorns are notoriously crafty creatures.  Intelligent, elusive, gentle to some, but ultimately deadly.  The zombies you at least hear (moaning) and smell (obvious) coming; the unicorns may buddy up to you before they rip you to shreds.  Not that they will.  Team Unicorn does not advocate that.  We're just saying.

Still not convinced?  Well maybe this will make up your mind:

Vote for Team Unicorn to enter to win my Zombies and Unicorns Grab Bag!  The contents are a mystery, but I will give you two clues:

1: It's full of awesome!

b) It will include a super-neato official Zombies vs. Unicorns button! --->

To enter, fill out the form and leave a comment with your vote, zombies or unicorns.  And why not grab the Team Unicorn Badge while you're at it?  For extra chances to win, go weigh in at vvb32 reads and Fishmuffins of Doom.

And please note, those ladies will be having giveaways of their own, and Velvet will be keeping track of commenters in her Z v. U Challenge; click on the Team Unicorn Badge to go to Velvet's page and find out how you can pick a side and enter the awesome...

<-- click me!

This giveaway runs through September.  International.  Good luck!

Weigh in at the other zombiettes blogs too to up your chances of winning vvb's comment contest; you especially may want to cast your vote at The Epic Rat, as she's having a giveaway of her own; but hurry, her's ends Sept 7th!

*Feel free to vote according to your own personal stance on, ahem, "fictional" beings; voting unicorn won't garner you better chances to win, but it will mean you won't end up at the uncomfortable end of my personal unicorn pride's horns...