Teaser: Bloodsucking Fiends by Christopher Moore

Jody never asked to become a vampire. But when she wakes up under an alley Dumpster with a badly burned arm, an aching back, superhuman strength, and a distinctly Nosferatuan thirst, she realizes the decision has been made for her.

Making the transition from the nine-to-five grind to an eternity of nocturnal prowlings is going to take some doing, however, and that's where C. Thomas Flood fits in. A would-be Kerouac from Incontinence, Indiana, Tommy (to his friends) is biding his time night-clerking and frozen-turkey bowling in a San Francisco Safeway. But all that changes when a beautiful undead redhead walks through the door...and proceeds to rock Tommy's life -- and afterlife -- in ways he never thought possible.

I know this may not have been the best choice to read aloud, for the simple fact that it's a back and forth between two people.  I felt like I needed sock puppets.  It probably would have made more sense.  And been awesome.  But this part was just too funny, and represented the book as a whole rather nicely, so I went with it. :)