The Book Rat: Fill-In: The Third Child, from author Maureen McGowan

Saturday, April 30, 2011

Fill-In: The Third Child, from author Maureen McGowan

The Third Child:

a fill-in from author Maureen McGowan

There was an old woman who lived in a Birkin bag. She had 3 children, the bane of her existence. The first was a thick-headed, doltish son, who was prone to buying magic beans and geese that laid strange orange eggs. The 2nd was a beautiful but haughty daughter, who stared at herself ceaselessly in any reflective surface, speaking in rhyme to the reflection there. But the 3rd child, Pandora, she was the worst of all. The first 2 children gave her endless grief, but it was Pandora who drove the old woman to distraction, for Pandora was always greedy.

The old woman had no choice but to lock Pandora high in a tower -- from which Pandora promptly escaped, climbing down a ladder made of hair and fleeing in a giant pumpkin carriage. (The old woman’s fault, you see, for braiding hair-ladders and growing what were surely mutant pumpkins...)

The 3rd child traveled night and day, finally reaching the Great City. When Pandora reached the City, she opened a manhole and discovered the sewers flowed with gold. It seemed too good to be true. So Pandora promptly stole a bucket from a poorly attended vendor’s stall nearby, and set off to climb into the sewers.Pandora‘s quest was not an easy one, and before long, she discovered the bucket had holes. Not knowing what else to, Pandora did what any greedy 3rd child would do: using her skirt, she plugged the holes. This of course caused her to run through the streets half naked, which led to her arrest for stealing a bucket filled with yellow paint. Which is exactly what one would expect of such a 3rd child.Pandora lived infamously ever after, of course. But to this day, when ever someone says Fool’s Gold, everyone thinks of Pandora , the 3rd child of the old woman who lived in a Birkin bag.

Thanks, Maureen!