PiRat: Booty!

Every Friday throughout May, The Book Rat will be forcibly taken over by the PiRat, most dread rodent to appear on the high seas since Reepicheep.
Capt. PiRat will be sharing with us his take on some swashbuckling tales - because what's a rat to do in all that downtime when he's not marauding?  Read, of course...
(and drink rum. but that's a given.)

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Captain PiRat and I couldn't decide which pirate to capture for you this week, so we decided to let you in on something. You see, Captain P has recently come into possession of a treasure map that tells of a great many pirates' lost loot.  Whether they've all sunk to the bottom of the sea, lost to Davy Jones Locker or they're reclining on a sandy beach somewhere, only time will tell.  But for now, Captain PiRat and I are ready to sail off into the sunset in search of all this lovely loot.

We're hoping to fill our treasure chests near to bursting with:

"What's it about? Fencing. Fighting. True Love. Strong Hate. Harsh Revenge. A Few Giants. Lots of Bad Men. Lots of Good Men. Five or Six Beautiful Women. Beasties Monstrous and Gentle. Some Swell Escapes and Captures. Death, Lies, Truth, Miracles, and a Little Sex. 

In short, it's about everything."

According to PiRat's sources, The Princess Bride is rumored to be marooned on an island off of Barbados.

I don't know though...Barbados?  Inconceivable!

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"In 1794 England, the beautiful Sovay dons a man's cloak and holds up stagecoaches in broad daylight. Posing as a highway robber began as a lark to test a suitor's devotion. But when she lifts the wallet of one of England's most dangerous men, Sovay begins to unravel a web of deceit and duplicity. "

PiRat says there's good booty to be had from "Land Pirates" - I just think he's got it bad for this "Sovay" chick and her, um, booty...

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"America is on the brink of war with England, and Fin Button is about to come undone. She s had it with the dull life of the orphanage, and she is ready to marry Peter and escape the ever-watchful Sister Hilde. But an unexpected bond forms between Fin and the fiddle-playing cook, Bartimaeus, setting her on a course for the high seas of the American Revolution."

First Mate Giada informs us that there are female pirates in disguise in The Fiddler's Gun.  The Captain and I are fans of this.

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"Life as a ship's boy aboard HMS Dolphin is a dream come true for Jacky Faber. Gone are the days of scavenging for food and fighting for survival on the streets of eighteenth-century London. Instead, Jacky is becoming a skilled and respected sailor as the crew pursues pirates on the high seas.

There's only one problem: Jacky is a girl. And she will have to use every bit of her spirit, wit, and courage to keep the crew from discovering her secret. This could be the adventure of her life--if only she doesn't get caught. . . ."

Female pirates in disguise: see above.

Plus Capt P sometimes gets restless, and he thinks this HMS Dolphin may give him a good swashbucklin'.

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"Twins, Connor and Grace, never dreamed that there was any truth to the Vampirate shanty their father sang to them before he died, but that was before the two were shipwrecked and separated from each other. For Connor, who is taken aboard a pirate ship, there's the chance to learn to swordfight, but for Grace, aboard a mysterious ship of vampire pirates, the danger is great. What will it take for them to find each other?"

A miniature pirate in my life says there's treasure to be had from the Vampirates - if on is willing to face them, that is...

Captain PiRat looks forward to the challenge.

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So if we hit all of the Xs on this precious, hard-won map, I'd say the Captain and I will come back with some pretty stuffed treasure chests.

That is, if we don't kill each other on the high seas first.   That rat can not hold his rum...

Anyway, treasure waits for no man (or woman.  Or rat.), so we'd better be off.  Captain PiRat!  Ready to go?

Captain?  Hello?

...

Wait a minute, where's the map?

THAT RAT!  Just wait till I get my hands on him, I'll garotte him with his own tale, I'll beat him with his pegleg, I'll -- never mind that, but if you see him, be sure to tell me where, yeah?

Until then, though, why not give me a peek inside your treasure chest?  It's just a peek, promise.

Pirate's honor.